The Christmas Curse: The Holidays As The Worst Breakup Time of Year

from: http://themarriagecounselingblog.com/relationship-counseling/relationship-chr...

There is an interesting study that has been done that followed relationship bust ups as reported on Facebook. It seems we are not shy when it comes to telling the world that our relationships are coming to, or come to, and end.

What is interesting is the trend as to when relationships break up – it seems that the period just before Christmas and around Valentine’s Day have almost double the number of relationship failures. Why is this so?

We can surmise many different reasons. I have read some that sound absolutely ridiculous and some, while sounding a little odd, could have some substance to them. Here are a couple of the reasons offered:

Save money – this has to be the strangest reason for ending a relationship. Do it before Christmas, a birthday, or Valentine’s Day and you will save money.

In-Laws theory – now this theory does hold a little more water. In-laws have always been seen as problem areas, especially if couples come from different social groups.

Fear of Commitment – for those couples who are in a relationship but have not yet tied the not, the commitment theory is very plausible. During the year, things are fine. Come Christmas, it’s time to meet the parents and the rest of the family. That starts to sound like a permanent relationship and those who are not ready to commit suddenly find reasons why they can’t meet the family – or simply end the relationship.

The Christmas Curse has been around for a long time. It doesn’t just affect those in a short-term relationship; it also affects those who are married as well. Marriage often helps to prevent a complete bust up of the relationship, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t put a lot of strain on the couple.

Marriage counselors tend to find their services are in most demand shortly after holiday periods like Christmas. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for another couple or two. If you have been affected by the Christmas Curse, contact a counselor today – they can help you get your marriage back on track.

Can You Save Your Relationship with the Right Christmas Gift?

from: http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/can-buying-the-right-christmas-p...

It's an age old question. You know, on some level, that you can't buy love. At the same time, hope springs eternal that buying the right gift will somehow earn it. This is especially the case when relationships feel like they're on the rocks. The pressure is really on at times like this to buy the perfect gift in hopes of making things work out just right between the two of you.

The problem is that when you do this you're taking the focus away from where it should be and looking in the wrong direction to make any advances in the relationship. If you're sincere about your wishes to save the relationship you're going to need to start in the mirror and not the wallet.

I am not at all implying or insinuating that you and you alone are the cause of all that's wrong in your relationship. There is never one person who is completely to blame or one that is blameless. It takes two people working together to make a relationship successful. It takes two people going in different directions to make things fall apart.

But, if you start by looking in the mirror and trying to figure out what she needed that she wasn't getting from you (even though, nine times out of ten it's something she never asked for) that she didn't get. The problem is that she may not even be able to put her finger on it.

Most of the time it's a sense of restlessness or her feeling unappreciated that causes women to walk away from relationships. Whether it's true or not, it's how she feels. What you need to address is this: what can YOU do to make her FEEL more appreciated by YOU?

It seems convoluted. You may appreciate all the things she does. You may even tell her that you appreciate them. But, most of the time it's going to come down to a matter of her not FEELING appreciated by you that gets her to leave in the end.

Here are a few small things you can do that will make your wife feel more appreciated by you that don't involve buying expensive presents.

1) Give her the night off. That's right. Do the dishes. Give the kids a bath. Give her a glass of wine, a good book on the Kindle, run her a bubble bath and light some candles for her so she can enjoy a night off and away from the stress of her daily routine.

2) Tell her how much it means to you. Don't simply say "thank you". Tell her why the little things she does for you matter so much and just how much better they make your life.

Give her a back rub while she's making dinner or sit and talk with her while she's doing the dishes. You might even pick up a dish towel and start helping or unload the dishwasher as the case may be. Don't just walk in and walk straight to the television while leaving her to deal with homework help, dinner prep, and bedtime routines while you blast away the bad guys in cyber space.